A Letter to My Kiddos on their Crazy 12+ Years

Dear Kiddos,

You are 12 years and 7 months old.  In that time, you have experienced more "quarantine" than might be considered normal across the country.  Your young life is defined by incredible moments.  Let's take a look back....

Summer 2007 - The iPhone was born, and then so were you.  This technological advancement transformed our society.  You transformed my world.

June 2008 - At around the same time that we bought our house, the economy started to collapse.  Freddie Mac and Frannie Mae did something really big that meant the downfall of the economy. (I don't remember the exact details since I was packing a house, teaching a summer class, and taking care of twin babies, but ask your dad.  He definitely remembers.)

September 2008 - The economy basically failed.  (Again, I don't remember... see note above plus I was commuting about 3 hours each way to NYC several times per week and trying to earn tenure after being off for maternity leave the year before.  If dad won't talk to you about it because it's too raw right now, watch Too Big To Fail because it basically tells the story.)

November 2008 - Barack Obama was elected the first Black President. You probably don't remember this, but I do.  It was a big moment.

August 2011 - Hurricane Irene caused a 4-day power outage.  You were four, and we had to cancel our Labor Day trip to Vermont.  Other than that, the power outage was interesting.  It was warm, so we looked at it as an adventure.  We had a "hurricane party" with the neighbors and generally had a good time.

October 2011 - A freak Halloween snowstorm caused a 6-day power outage.  This one wasn't so fun.  We cancelled Halloween, and we pretty much froze.  Dad and our electrician neighbor, along with some of the other neighborhood men, hot-wired our generator into our electrical box so we could turn on the heat.  We are probably lucky we survived.

November 2012 - Superstorm Sandy hit us hard.  We were powerless for 15 days (thank goodness we knew how to hot-wire the generator since permits had held up our full-house generator that we had already paid for!) and without Internet for 21 (seriously. Imagine this...) We cancelled Halloween for the second year in a row.  You were out of school for nearly two weeks.  NJ didn't care, by the way, and required schools to meet the 180 days. So basically you and your teachers lost any break from each other for the rest of the year.  We are probably lucky they survived.

December 2012 - Sandy Hook.  You were in kindergarten. I wrote a couple entries about that.  You can look them up.  I'm too tired today to link them.  (See 2020.). But this was a transformative moment for me as a parent, but also for the country.  (Though I'm not sure we see that in today's policies. Perhaps it was just transformative for teacher/parents.)

(Insert a couple years of normalcy.)

July 2016 - Hillary Clinton was nominated as a Presidential candidate, the first woman for a major party.  You might not remember this, but I do.  It was a big moment.

November 2016 - Donald Trump pulls off a huge upset in the Presidential election.  This was a big surprise to many people.  I was not surprised.  You can ask me why if you can't figure it out based on what I wrote in the previous timeline moment.

March 2018 - A snowstorm caused an 8-day power outage that cancelled the local science fair for the first time in its decades-long history.

March 2020 - We are basically quarantined in our home due to COVID-19 (which is the popular name but not the scientific name of the virus that has created a world pandemic.  I encourage you to research the science name because it will lead you to actual facts about all of this.  Unfortunately, facts are not always at the center of communications we receive.) And the economy is collapsing.  All learning has been moved to distance - for you that means online.

_________________________________________________________________________________

I lay out this timeline so that you can see the oddities of the life you've lived in just over a decade.  My own youth was not nearly so interesting.  The Challenger exploded. The Berlin wall came down.  But these were distant to me in a way that most of the things on this list were not to you. You actually lived them. In some ways, I wonder whether all of those power outages were simply preparing you for this moment.  We have been home together, practicing social distancing, for a week. Last Friday was your last day at school, and as we watched Lego Masters on the couch together, I thought, "This is the last day of normal."
Today, a week later, Lego Masters gave us some normal.  It's all so surreal.  Unlike the power outages, we have connection.  In fact, all of us are spending HOURS a day in front of screens (not healthy, btw).  We are relegated to our house because of a virus, yet we can walk out of our house without fear.  Unlike being in a war, life outside our house could be normal.  It's somehow different than when Sandy or Irene hit, or even those snowstorms. Going outside brings comfort in normalcy, even when it's SO. NOT. NORMAL.

Inside the house, we are beginning a routine. I wonder what this letter will be three, four, or eight weeks from now.  We know that it's going to be long.  Just like the power outages, we hope it will be shorter than expected.  Deep down, we know it will be longer than we want.  So there is this weird parallel to our other experiences that is somehow completely unrelated.  The only word I have to describe it is surreal.

For your part, you seem to be adjusting ok.  You have moments where I see the anxiety, and I know that you must be feeling it constantly, as am I and your dad.

It's been a crazy 12 years and 7 months, and I know that we have more crazy in our future.  I'm just glad we can keep adapting as a family, creating stronger bonds and crazy routines.

Love, Mama

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