Thursday, June 29, 2017

Thinking Back a Decade

When I became pregnant, I started a semi-public journal of my pregnancy on a site called Babysites, which I was surprised to find out still exists today (in the same form it did back then).  It wasn't until 2009 that I switched to Blogger to document my life as a working twinmom.  Nearly two years of thoughts and reflections were archived to a CD when I made that switch, and I thought in honor of my little family's ten year anniversary, I'd repost those blog entries here, to archive them with the rest of my kids' life.  After all, this blog is really for them.

I didn't think of this idea until today, so I've missed about 6 months that I will post as a whole collection in the near future.  But for today and the rest of the posts, I'll aim to publish exactly ten years later.

Yesterday I posted that I was waiting.  I wrote that post purely from memories evoked by an "on this day" status that popped up on Facebook.  Today, I went back into the Babysites journal, and I smiled at my description of my little boy.  Ten years later, he still challenges me - when he isn't asking me to cuddle with him.  :)

A few other memories sparked by the picture and the post below - see Snoogle on the floor?  I loved Snoogle.  I loved him so much that I donated him to another twinmom when she was pregnant.  I regret that decision.  I miss Snoogle.  I may have to buy a new one.

I had honestly forgotten that I had a mole removed that week.  Lying on the table on my back for such an extended period of time was pure torture.  When I was pregnant, I saw my acupuncturist once per week, and as soon as I started growing a belly, which was kind of late in my pregnancy considering I had twins  (I threw up most everything I ate for over 20 weeks), she treated me on my side.  I simply couldn't lie on my back.  Often, the babies would settle on a nerve that would make me feel faint, break out in a cold sweat, and basically incapacitate me.  It happened twice while I was driving, and I had to pull over, but it was most likely to happen when I lay on my back.  So I never did.  That day on the surgery table for my mole was unbearable.

And finally, the day I wrote this post, Rick flew to Atlanta for his best friend's bachelor party.  It was a difficult decision, as the doctor had told us it was possible that I wouldn't make it through the weekend without going into labor.  My parents stayed with me, and my dad finished putting together the cribs (which, I'll admit, I had been working on myself earlier that week...sigh).  I can't attest to what Rick was feeling while away, but I imagine he couldn't focus on the party events as much as he was thinking about his wife and babies!

And now, on to my real-time thinking.  Tune in for the Week 33 update and my associated memories!

Adventures in week 31
Date: 06/29/2007
This week started roughly with some minor pains – and I will spare you the details of that – and has progressively gotten worse.

Wednesday night, I spent five hours in the hospital with some major pain and pre-term contractions. Since I am only 31 weeks, this was quite a problem. They monitored me, gave me some shots to stop the contractions, and sent me home at a little after 2 in the morning. Thursday and Friday I had to get two shots to help develop the babies’ lungs, just in case they decide to come in the next week.

The big, and not surprising news, is that my doctor has put me on official bed rest. I have limited movement around the house, but I can’t leave except for doctor’s appointments. As you know, this is going to be VERY hard for me, especially with so much on my to-do list before the babies come.

On top of all this, I found a bad-looking mole last week on the underside of my right breast. If you know my history, you know that I have had several pre-cancerous moles removed over the years, and this one had all the signs of needing to be removed. Because of its location, I needed to have this done quickly so that I had time to heal before the babies came (I kinda need these things to be healthy in order to feed my kids!). The doctor shaved it last Friday and sent it for tests. A long story short – the entire mole had to be removed immediately. So this week I’ve also had surgery to remove the mole (a 7 cm. scar with 17 stiches on the outside - I guess there goes any chance of a playboy shoot for me. Ha ha.).


The babies are fine. I’m doing ok. But it has been a rough week. There isn't much to update on the babies' growth. The ultrasound they conducted on Thursday focused on their anatomy, specifically whether they were breathing enough to give them the shot that will help develop their lungs.

Both the sonographer and my doctor said they are growing well.

An interesting fact - they have both been very active, and while we were being monitored in the hospital, they spent a lot of time kicking the monitors. We could hear their movements even more than their heartbeats. The nurses asked me if I ever got any sleep because these babies were so active.

Additionally, the ultrasound showed that the boy has moved from his last position. However, instead of moving into the space in the lower left of the uterus (which any intelligent child would have done, making himself head down and easily delivered), he decided to do a 180 flip. So he is still transverse, but now his head is on the right side of my body rather than the left. And he's pushing so far up into my lungs that the sonographer asked me if it was possible for me to breathe. His positioning tends to give me a sharp pain, very much like a side-stitch you might get while running, in my rib cage area. I think this little boy is gonna be a stinker.

Thanks for your messages and thoughts. Keep praying for us.

Wednesday, June 28, 2017


Me, approximately when I went on bedrest
Ten years ago I felt some funny pains in my belly (that's a nice way of saying I felt it in all the pregnant woman parts).  My husband was out that night, playing poker, and I was watching the Mets, who were having a good year.  Just the day before I had posted on Facebook that I was looking forward to going to PA to see my parents and swim in their pool.  For any twinmoms out there, you can imagine how nice pool floating would be with a 30 week twin belly.

I ignored the first round of cramping, chalking it up to something I ate, and turned over to the other side of the couch.  A few minutes later, the second round came.  I called my husband.  He told me to call the doctor if it happened again.  A few minutes later, I was on the phone with my doctor, who told me to "GET TO THE HOSPITAL!"  I heard the all-caps in her voice.

My husband was over an hour away, and my neighbors were not answering their phone.  Always determined, I found my car keys, and waddled to the car - a standard transmission.  I wasn't sure if I could actually drive to the hospital, but since Uber hadn't been invented yet, I had only one choice...

Thankfully, my neighbors pulled into their driveway just as I reached my car parked on the curb.  They rushed me to the ER, and the nurses took me to the maternity ward, where for hours I lay on my back, an incredibly uncomfortable position for a rather pregnant twinmom.

Diagnosis - pre-term labor.

Remedy - shots to develop the babies lungs and BEDREST!

I spent the rest of that very hot pre-Netflix summer in my bed and on my couch, watching a great run by the Mets and a ton of Gilmore Girls and Dr. Phil.  I waited, anxious and bored.  I was waiting for my pain to be over.  I was waiting for a hopefully healthy birth.  I was waiting to start the next phase of life. A woman who had run, run, run all her life was suddenly sidelined.

It was, perhaps, the most humbling experience of my life, and I know it transformed me - as well as my husband who changed from a work-focused professional into a father who changed diapers, starting at day 1.  By taking care of me, he understood what it meant to put someone else first.  By allowing him (and others) to take care of me, I learned to ask for help when I needed it.

Today while I think back a decade, I am waiting for my kids to come home from camp.  Just like then, I yearn to see them and to hold them.  Fortunately today I can walk in the sunshine, watch my Netflix, and know that they are healthy and happy kiddos.  I'm not anxious - I know that this time away is good for all of us - and I'm not bored.  I'm just waiting, which is a good thing, both then and now.